I have the second-most popular male first name of the last 100 years. (F**k you, James.)
 

I love goats, cheese, and cake.
 

I'm not a fan of cheesecake and I utterly hate goat cheese.
 

I adore Britney Spears (nothing beats 2007-08 Brit). 
 

Writing isn't my only creative outlet—check out my lighting skillz.
 

I adore Britney Spears. (Oops! I said it again.)
 

Favorite bean: Jelly
 

Least favorite word: Mucus (or pus)
 

I hate owls. I detest literally everything about them—from their grotesquely large talons to their Exorcist-like rotating heads. Bunch of freaks.
 

Beer or wine: Can I see the kids menu?